We’ve all been there. You’re looking for someone to fix a leak or trim a tree, and you find a website that looks like it was designed by a caffeinated squirrel in 2004. You know the ones…neon yellow text on a blue background, music that starts playing automatically, and a “Contact Us” page that looks like a dark alleyway for your email address.
In my years of helping folks navigate the web, I’ve realized that a website is a lot like a physical handshake. If it’s firm and confident, you’re in. If it’s limp, clammy, or (heaven forbid) completely missing, people are going to walk away feeling a little bit icky.
What on Earth is the "Handshake Test"?
The Handshake Test is my personal rule for judging a business’s online soul. When I land on a homepage, I ask myself: “If this website were a person standing in my driveway, would I trust them with my house keys?” If your site is cluttered, has broken images, or mentions “Current Specials for Summer 2019,” your digital handshake is basically a wet noodle. It doesn’t matter if you’re the best in the business; if your site looks amateur, people will assume your work is, too.
3 Ways Your Website is Currently Failing the Test
- The Aesthetics Suck
I once visited a local contractor’s site that used a font so curly and decorative I thought I was being invited to a Victorian tea party instead of getting a roof inspection. If your customers have to squint to find your phone number, you’ve already lost.Professionalism is about clarity. I’ve learned the hard way that “fancy” usually just means “confusing.”A clean, organized site tells the customer you have your act together. If your site is a mess, I’m going to assume your truck is full of old fast-food wrappers and you’ll probably forget to show up on Tuesday.
- Your Website is a Ghost Town
There is nothing more sarcastic-chuckle-inducing than clicking a “Latest News” link and seeing a post from six years ago about an office Christmas party.When a site hasn’t been updated, it feels like a ghost town. I start wondering if the business even exists anymore.According to the experts over at Search Engine Journal, user experience and site “freshness” are huge factors in whether people stay on your page or flee in terror. If you haven’t touched your site since the last Olympic games, your handshake is officially “ghosting” your clients.
- Using Clearly Fake (and Worse) AI Photos
We can all spot a fake photo from a mile away. You know the one.. the guy in the perfectly clean hard hat, smiling like he’s just won the lottery while holding a hammer he’s clearly never used. Whenever I see those, I roll my eyes so hard I nearly get a migraine. An amateur site hides behind stolen stock photos, sometimes we still see the ‘Shutterstock’ watermark.
How to Get a Pro Website Without Burning Thousands of Dollars
- Fix the broken links Click every button on your site. If one doesn't work, fix it.
- Stay away from walls of texts that don't benefit them Nobody is reading your 10-paragraph manifesto on the history of asphalt. Keep it informative and useful.
- Make it mobile-friendly If I have to use a magnifying glass to see your site on my iPhone, I’m going to find someone else.